Door 25

Merry Christmas everyone!

 

Door 24

What did Adam say the day before Christmas?

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"It's Christmas Eve!"

 

Door 23

Door 22

What do you call a sociolinguistic study of elf speech?

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North poll.

Door 21

Day 21. The days of this calendar are numbered. 

Door 20

What ingredient makes a linguist's Christmas pudding taste unique?

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Cranberries.

Door 19

Door 18

What do you call a dyslexic elf who is learning English?

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EFL

Door 17

What did the snowman's hat say to the scarf? 

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You hang around while I go on ahead.

Door 16

Door 15

Door 14

Why is the zero morph celebrating Hanukkah instead of Christmas this year?

It converted.

Door 13

The Twelve Days Of Phonetics And Phonology

On the first day of Christmas
My phonetician gave to me:

A variety with a flapped t.

On the second day of Christmas
My phonetician gave to me:
Two homophones and
A variety with a flapped t.

On the third day of Christmas
My phonetician gave to me:
Three dental sounds
Two homophones and
A variety with a flapped t.

On the fourth day of Christmas
My phonetician gave to me:
Four affricates
Three dental sounds
Two homophones and
A variety with a flapped t.

On the fifth day of Christmas
My phonetician gave to me:
Five silent e’s
Four affricates
Three dental sounds
Two homophones and
A variety with a flapped t.

On the sixth day of Christmas,
My phonetician gave to me:
Six consonant clusters
Five silent e’s
Four affricates
Three dental sounds
Two homophones and
A variety with a flapped t.

On the seventh day of Christmas,
My phonetician gave to me:
Seven disyllabics
Six consonant clusters
Five silent e’s
Four affricates
Three dental sounds
Two homophones and
A variety with a flapped t.

On the eighth day of Christmas,
My phonetician gave to me:
Eight closing diphthongs
Seven disyllabics
Six consonant clusters
Five silent e’s
Four affricates
Three dental sounds
Two homophones and
A variety with a flapped t.

On the ninth day of Christmas,
My phonetician gave to me:
Nine nasal phonemes
Eight closing diphthongs
Seven disyllabics
Six consonant clusters
Five silent e’s
Four affricates
Three dental sounds
Two homophones and
A variety with a flapped t.

On the tenth day of Christmas,
My phonetician gave to me:
Ten mid monophthongs
Nine nasal phonemes
Eight closing diphthongs
Seven disyllabics
Six consonant clusters
Five silent e’s
Four affricates
Three dental sounds
Two homophones and
A variety with a flapped t.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
My phonetician gave to me:
Eleven lateral liquids
Ten mid monophthongs
Nine nasal phonemes
Eight closing diphthongs
Seven disyllabics
Six consonant clusters
Five silent e’s
Four affricates
Three dental sounds
Two homophones and
A variety with a flapped t.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
My phonetician gave to me:
Twelve semi-vowels
Eleven lateral liquids
Ten mid monophthonghs
Nine nasal phonemes
Eight closing diphthongs
Seven disyllabics
Six consonant clusters
Five silent e’s
Four affricates
Three dental sounds
Two homophones
A variety with a flapped t.

Door 12

A florist, a baker, and a phonologist die in a car accident on Christmas Day. They find themselves at the pearly gates, where they learn that to enter, they must present something associated with Christmas. The florist searches his pocket, and finds some mistletoe, so he is allowed in. The baker presents a cookie, so he, too, is allowed in. The phonologist pulls out a pair of knickers. Confused at this, St Peter asks, ‘What do those have to do with Christmas?’ The phonologist answers: ‘They’re Carol’s.’

Door 11

Pronoun Christmas:

 You have to invite the relatives.

Door 10

Why did schwa start buying its Christmas presents in June?

Because it didn't want to get stressed.

Door 9

Door 8

Morpheme how-to:
Invite a girl to a Christmas party.

Door 7

Door 6

Door 5

Why did the enclitic stay in bed on Christmas Day?

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It had contracted something. 

Door 4

Door 3

What do linguists put on top of an ungrammatical Christmas tree?

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*